Hi, my name is Rose Shetkova but all my friends call me Rosie. Welcome to my place in the depths of your monitor. No, I'm not just a virtual rehash of some live person living somewhere out in the real world. I only wish I was. And I used to be, once.

I was born the ordinary daughter of ordinary parents. Then I obediently accepted other tasks as well. I functioned as a pupil at our local school. I found myself cast in the role of friend to my friends. I became an employee in a place of employment. A fan of a rock group. A customer of a few shops. A consumer of gas and electricity. Wearer of a brown jacket wearer. Eater of blue Czech cheese. A passer-by on the street. A person who can tell red from green. A Listener, reader, viewer. A computer icon. A statistical figure.
Until rather unusual things started happening around me. What do I mean, „unusual"? I mean something I had never regarded as usual up to that time. And I say „up to that time", because thereafter unusual things started to be quite ordinary, I forgot which of the ordinary things used to be unusual, and I lost the ability to differentiate. I preferred not to make any distinctions at all, and nothing surprised me any more. That was the moment reality coalesced with my own peculiar notions. It wasn't a good thing, because it involved me in all kinds of complications in the real world, which had no inkling of the world of my imaginings, and didn't operate by my rules at all.

One of my friends at the time, Joseph Mashl, was a well-known inventor. While he thought up so-called „useful" devices, he was fond of inventing so-called „useless" things as well. He used to claim that even the useless inventions could be very useful. For instance, he devised an accessory for my hair. A sort of ribbon. Except that every so often it flashed sparks.
"I'm giving it you, „ Mashl said, „because I know you'll wear it. Your capacity to distinguish between useful and useless and usual and unusual is seriously impaired. And that is as it should be. You are one of the first, not one of the last. Work is underway to ensure that nobody will ever be able to distinguish between them again. Or at least the need to distinguish will disappear, and the ability become a bourgeois absurdity."
"All right," I say, "so it's something you're working on yourself?"
"No. I just sense it. Sometimes very interesting things can happen. The next millennium will definitely be totally different!"
I should point out that I'm not completely out of my senses. Sometimes I'm well aware of Mashl's craziness. I'm wearing his ribbon - true enough - but it's interesting. Sometimes in the street I look at my reflection in the shop windows and the sight of the swarm of sparks amuses me. I also look at the passers-by. Hm. They seem surprised.
But Mashl calls me every once in a while and I hear the creeping insanity in his voice.
"An amazing thing has happened!", Mashl screams into the receiver. "God exists! He has sent me an e-mail! I talked to him. He said He's been trying to contact humans for many years and didn't know how, but now He manages to get a connection to IRC from time to time!!"
"Well, what can you say? ... Mashl used to be such a materialist. On the other hand, he's still quite young and has not yet acquired an enlightened view of the world.
"There is no God," I try to explain, "Where could He hide in the universe? The scientists would find Him right away!" But sometimes talking to Mashl is like spitting in the ....I can't remember what...

 But back to my story. One day I somehow got lost and couldn't find myself. The only thing I know is that I've remained in the computer, or at least my virtual identity or whatever you want to call it is in there, and I'm still in communication with it. And I'm in communication with you too. I've no idea, however, where I've got to physically. If I'm still anywhere at all, that is, although I probably must be, otherwise I couldn't be communicating with you, right? Oh hell, it's giving me a headache.
Here you can find out how fate caught up with me... Everything started so innocently one day when I went down Town to buy a pair of new shoes...