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Can't We All Just Get Along? By Dan Ackerman
With the recent outburst from the mayor over the Brooklyn Museum, we find ourselves thrust back into an area of politics New Yorkers have never been entirely comfortable with. The Rudy Zone, as one might refer to it, involves our mayor provoking a pointless feud with some other elected official, public entity or group. The Rudy Zone is a scary place to be, as the normal rules of both logic and decorum cease to exist. The Rudy Zone embodies the contrary feelings many New Yorkers have about their mayor. On one hand, we give him credit for reductions in crime and other social ills--the city is indeed much more livable than it was ten years ago. On the other hand, the more success Rudy sees with crime and law enforcement, the more he goes off the deep end on other issues, deeply infuriating large sections of the public. The general wisdom is this: Rudy was great for most of his first term, then as soon as he got re-elected, the pedestrian anti-jaywalking barricades went up and the mayor succumbed to his own press. Like a bloated rock star who insists that his fans will love his new three-album rock opera, hizzoner has so completely lost touch with New York that he fancies himself some kind of stern camp counselor, chastising unruly kids for their own good. The comment has been made that Rudy is objecting to the show "Sensation: Young British Artists from the Saatchi Collection," in order to curry upstate and conservative votes for his upcoming senate run. This theory ignores the larger truth of The Rudy Zone: Giuliani is not a robtically pragmatic political animal like say, Hillary Clinton or George "Dubya" Bush. He's left a long string of lost causes and grudge matches behind him, blasting his enemies on a personal level and challenging the press and rivals to take him to court (which they frequently do). So, in order to better understand the man who will soon be either a senator or unemployed, we present some of Rudy's best-known feuds.
Rudy vs. The Grammy Awards
Rudy vs. Taxi Drivers
Rudy vs. Food Vendors
Rudy vs. Carl McCall
Rudy vs. The X-Mayors
Rudy vs. the Media We could go on and on. There's Rudy vs. Rudy Crew, Rudy vs. Normal Siegal, Rudy vs. Al Sharpton, Rudy vs. Ray Kelley--you get the idea. Of course, this year, for the sixth year in a row, Rudy gave himself straight A's on his personal report card to the city. Read more about Rudy at the parody site YesRudy.com. Dan Ackerman will be dissected and mounted in formaldehyde at the Brooklyn Museum of Art next week. |
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