Bloody hell here we go again...

Dow came under renewed attack this week when internet troublemakers, the yesmen, launched their latest effort to tarnish the good name of Dow chemical. All this fuss over our perfectly reasonable court case in India to keep those surprisingly resilient Bhopal survivors at arms length and get them to pay a much needed financial contribution to our ailing coffers.

After wrestling with the yesmen over their spoof Dow site, dowethics.com in December we were hoping that if we ignored them for a while they would lose interest and go and annoy a different corporation. Unfortunately it seems they are not so easily deterred. However we have more important things to deal with at the moment.

Our esteemed boss recently announced that the only thing Dow will be doing in 2003 is cutting costs and focussing on profits: "We will control internal expenses. We must act immediately to take control of our destiny. Beginning right now, we will act to raise our prices, protect and grow our volume, and dramatically decrease our costs. Simply put, if it doesn’t improve our bottom-line in 2003, we just shouldn’t do it this year,” stated Bill Stavropolos. "Oh and yes we also be trying to be safe at the same time just in case you thought we might get a bit reckless with the cost cutting and do anything silly" he added in something not sounding like an afterthought at all.

As Dow will only be focussing on the almighty dollar this year we can't be dealing with protesters hanging around our plants and possibly disrupting our business. The US$10,000 fine will help us with our cash flow problems and ensure that the survivors can't afford the train fare to leave Bhopal and go protesting for years. Therefore killing two birds with one stone and very effectively too.

Now the yesmen have launched what they term a virtual sit in of our fine website, Bhopal.com, that offers naturally a completely balanced account of the disaster and describes what a wonderful job the whole chemical industry has been doing ever since. Apparently they want to know why we are suing survivors of the Bhopal disaster. We think we are perfectly within our rights as explained above and if the yesmen persist we'll be treating them with a heavy dose of Evade™ and ensuring those survivors don't get any publicity with the help of our brand spanking new product Justice™.