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®™ark,
USA
The
Female Question
Equality in the East
In the
darkest Gray Ages of Soviet Communism, women were worked to exhaustion as wives
and mothers after days of industrial toil. Though given equal-rights lip
service, the irksome problem of woman's actual place was felt by Communist Man
as a threat to his myth of worker equality, and was briskly swept under the
Curtain (www.maotsetung.com).
Now that the West has in turn whisked the
commies under the shag (www.ljudmila.org/lesbo), the „female question“ has been
fully resolved (www.finalsolution.com). The great steel pistons of the New
Bottom Line know neither borders nor prejudice, and the Free Trade Woman is now
rewarded for good hard work with ample buying power, just like her brothers
(www.amazoncity.com).
Now Free Trade assures that only healthy
competition will determine woman's role in today's global marketplace. But for
Free Trade to work, it must be fully embraced not only in the freedom-conscious
West, but in those areas of the world that once benefitted from Colonialism
(www.india.com, www.vietnam.com). It is for this reason that positive images of
Free Trade Women are crafted by our most accomplished male and female artists
(www.allmodels.com) and exported worldwide through the efforts of commerce – one
of whose most cherished desires, indeed, is that women everywhere will, as full
and equal partners in the Free Trade equation, understand the importance of
supplying global capital with the means to make it all happen
(www.maquilaproperties.com).
To everyone's satisfaction, these efforts
have paid off in pearls! Women of the liberal world, eager to engage in
beneficial work when not busy creating domestic edens, have supplanted their
male counterparts as the earth's primary labor force. These „Free Enterprise
Ladies,“ secure on the acme of progress, now bravely make up 90 percent of the
workers in multinational corporate production plants all over the world
(www.maquiladora.com/Stories/stories.html). Equality – nay, superiority – is at
hand!
A natural secretion for natural selection
After their
19th-century heyday, the number of U.S. „sweatshops“ (places where middlemen
„sweat“ long hours from workers for miniscule wages) declined steeply because of
trade unions and government reaction. But thanks to today's enthusiasm for a
rational marketplace, helped by NAFTA, GATT and the WTO (www.totallyglobal.com),
the colorful sweat industry is enjoying a full-on renaissance
(www.maqguide.com).
To support and nurture this movement, dedicated
female workers have joined the ranks en masse, sacrificing their health and
safety
to keep production costs at rock-bottom levels and efficiency sky high
(www.profit.com, www.profit.org). These women offer flexible
hours,
unexampled obedience and remarkable savings: who could be ungrateful to these
heroines of Free Enterprise living (www.starvation.com)?
The global
village: a win-win situation
Also fulfilling their role in making
yesterday's inequalities a thing of the past, the people's elected governments
race to smash yester
year's regulations - the irrational hand of caution - in
order to offer up to industry giants, at ever lower costs, larger pools of
increasingly free-thinking women (www.sweatshops.com). These industry giants, in
turn, nurture this evolution by moving from country to country in search of the
freest free women they can possibly find (www.freewoman.org).
On this
burgeoning new frontier, companies stand firmly on the parallel pillars of the
First and Third Worlds: their massive construction budgets and seven-figure
executive salaries from the First World help them make certain
(www.idefense.com) that Third World women find full satisfaction in their new
states of helpfulness (www.freedom.com).
An eye to the
future
Maintaining Third World labor in the proper attitudes requires, of
course, that distractions like leisure, politics, education, and standards of
safety and health take the back seat (www.idefense.com) to forward-looking
financial logic. Pregnancy leave, for example, so costly to glutted Western
economies, is eliminated entirely with mandatory pregnancy tests for the fully
non-unionized ladies of the frontier.
With this lucrative blend of old
and new called globalization, multinational corporations can, thanks to women,
remain healthy and competitive in today's global marketplace. Meanwhile, First
World women and others can thrill to the multicolored packaging
(www.wclynx.com/burntofferings) of unfettered Free Trade. Globalization is truly
a win-woman-win (www.winwin.com) situation!
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