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: : : —GOD, IT'S GOOD TO SEE you, Lydia says, throwing her arms around Paul. She presses her face into his shoulder. —I've missed you so much.
After she's gotten the big hug out of her system she takes a step back. Standing behind Paul is a skinny, boyish-looking fellow, with black hair and a pale complexion. Lydia thinks that he looks kind of Liverpudlian. He's smiling, and averting his eyes away from her, waiting to be introduced. He shifts his weight from one foot to another, giving away his mounting excitement.
—You must be Scott, she says. —It's a pleasure to meet you.
—The pleasure is all mine, he says, coming in and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
—Can I get you something? Paul says. —We're just about to open a bottle of wine.
—I'd love a glass, Lydia says.
—And there's some cheese over here, Scott says. She follows him into the living room. —We've got some Camembert and a nice nut bread—
—You guys, Lydia says, checking out the spread. —You've really—this place looks so great! I'm so envious—my place these days is such a dump—
—Well, Paul says, —welcome.
They sit for a while, drinking their wine. Lydia watches Paul put his arm around Scott and inside she just soars with happiness. It's so great to be sitting here, watching Paul be in love, that it makes it hard to remember why she ever thought it would be a good idea to move out on her own. What she wants is to have this life all the time, the one with the good food and companionship, instead of the life she has, the one where she goes home every night to an apartment which is messy and dark and empty, and where she mainly just feels like lying on the floor in a ball, willing time to pass.
—So where's Marvin tonight? she asks.
—He's over at his girlfriend's, Paul said.
—Is he still dating that girl—what was her name—?
—Oh, Gloria, Paul says. —Noo. No no no. She was—she was a real trip.
—I'll say, Lydia says. —Oh my God, they used to drive me nuts.
—Yeah, Marvin was a little bit—uh, out of his league with her. But, no, now he's dating this woman—her name's Patricia, she's a senior at U of C right now. She wants to go on and get a Master's in Library Science. I've met her—she's kind of sweet, actually. She has a blog.
—I hope she knows what she's getting into, Lydia says.
—You mean with Marvin? He's not so bad, anymore, Paul says. —He's mellowed out a lot over the last year.
—How is he with you? Lydia says. —I mean—I remember when you first came out he seemed kind of weirded out by it—
—No, Paul says, —he's been cool. I mean (his eyes flick over to Scott for a second) sometimes he gets a little jumpy when Scott and I hang out here, but I think that's less because of the gay thing and more because—well, Scott and I are just starting to really get into our whole domestic scene, you know, where we cook together and all that, and I think that Marvin maybe feels like he doesn't have a place in that? You know? So he goes over to Patti's, and Scott comes over here, and, I don't know, it works out.
They eat. A salad with beets and walnuts, a frittata made from red potatoes, some roasted asparagus.
Back in the living room afterwards, drinking coffee, eating grapes out of a bowl. Scott's in the kitchen, washing dishes, and quietly singing something that sounds like it might be an aria.
—So, tell me, Paul says. —Is everything OK with you? The last couple times I've talked with you on the phone you've sounded a little—
—Yeah, Lydia says. —More than just a little. I'm actually giving some thought to going on antidepressants.
Paul makes a thoughtful face.
—I don't know yet, Lydia says. —I mean, some of them have side effects that strike me as pretty, uh, well, the side effects concern me. I'm still in kind of the research stage at this point; looking stuff up online, trying to figure out stuff about the different one—
—Are you seeing a therapist? Paul says.
—No, says Lydia. —I mean, I've thought about that, too, but right now, trying to find someone just seems like so much—and really I don't want to spend like years talking through all my baggage, I mostly just want to take a pill that'll make it all better, you know?
—I guess, says Paul.
—I learned something interesting, Lydia says, brightly. —I'm reading about all these brain chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, all those?
—Yeah? Paul says.
—Yeah. And you know how you feel depressed when you have less serotonin in your brain? Like—lots of those antidepressants boost the production of serotonin?
—Sure, says Paul.
—Well, serotonin blocks the production of dopamine. So the less serotonin you have, the more dopamine you tend to have.
—I'm with you, says Paul.
—So anyway—and this is a true fact—scientists have found high levels of dopamine among people who are getting into new romantic relationships. So the more depressed you are, the more likely you are to fall into some new relationship.
Paul's quiet for a minute, thinking this over.
—Kind of a kick in the pants, isn't it? he says, finally.
—Tell me about it, Lydia says. —That's like the story of my whole past year.
: : :
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