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August 15, 2008
Total points:
107 (Level 1)

Resolved Question

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Why cant i be emotional?

Im a 15 year old teenage girl. & were supposed to be emotional., right?

i absolutley HATE talking about my feelings.
i hate when i cry in front of others, so i hold it in the best i can.
& when my parents try & ask me how my day was & all that.
i dont want to, i dont like talking to them about those things.

All of that has gotten my in a lot of trouble in the past, & currently is.
I have a horrible relationship with my mom & step-dad.
eveytime they wanna ask me something, it ends up in us fighting & me getting in mounds of trouble that could of easily been avoided.

my parents tell me all the time that "my heart is hard"

how do i fix this?
because i cant take another 3 years of this constant battle against my parents. i wanna change, but its hard. i dont know how to.

Additional Details

& the not crying thing gets me in trouble the most, because the sadness just builds up & then any little thing can set it off.

3 years ago

headgirl97 by headgirl...
Member since:
January 24, 2009
Total points:
2,930 (Level 4)

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

sweetie, it's not that you're not emotional but that you resist making yourself appear vulnerable.

There's a million possible reasons for that but one is that you are a very young teenager, enduring hormonal changes that sweep through and create havoc will your emotions and your sense of security - making you more vulnerable.

Another could be that you don't know how to show your emotional reactions -- - perhaps you're afraid of not being able to stop (again, you're young, it's like that)

another could be that you don't want other people to feel responsible for your emotional response OR that you don't want to burden them OR that you feel they won't understand (maybe they haven't before)

It could also be (and again this is age related) that you get more attention by not showing emotion

there are many other possible reasons. Unfortunately, only time will tell what you're made of.

Solution - - - not guaranteed but it is a step. Explain to your parents (when you're not sad or angry) how you feel when you can't express your feelings - - - something like this "when such and such happened, I was quite upset but

1.so were you and I didn't want to burden you with my feelings OR

2. I didn't want you to see how upset I was because then you might laugh at me (they won't like it, but if it's true then . . . )

3. I felt very uncomfortable about these feelings

4. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop.

Parents generally want to understand. Explaining is more important that exposing your emotional response. Don't forget they've been there too . . . however long ago.

I hope this helps. good luck. Not easy being where you're at.
Asker's Rating:
5 out of 5
Asker's Comment:
Wow, you hit it dead on, thanks. ive realized a lot & im going to fix this even if it kills me.

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Other Answers (2)

  • Deadkid by Deadkid
    Member since:
    March 08, 2009
    Total points:
    121 (Level 1)
    AWW honey your hearts not hard your just protecting it
    you've been hurt and you've realised that emotions contribute to that so you've locked them away. you can be emotional just subconsciously you don't want to be so you don't get hurt again.
    btw i am a 16 year old girl and i'm very emotional but i never show it. i think you should tell your parents about how you prefer to keep your emotions to yourself and find it hard to talk about them.
    you may need some help shown how to express yourself but your not broken so therefore cannot be fixed.


    life :/
  • jlhlmbrg by jlhlmbrg
    Member since:
    April 28, 2008
    Total points:
    72 (Level 1)
    you are obviously a lot more intelligent then your parents and the people around you. Just be mellow and they will figure out how smart you are.

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